My name is Andrea and I am a mother of 3 girls and I am a therapist. My husband is Damon. We met and began dating 21 years ago while my husband was stationed in Fort Worth. We dated for 11 years before marrying. We adopted our oldest daughter in 2007 and married in 2014. When our oldest daughter was 5, we started trying to conceive. We did not know in advance of any infertility concerns. However, after failing to conceive after about 18 months, we began our infertility journey. Three IVF doctors later, 3 rounds of Clomid and 5 fresh IVF cycles later we still had no baby. Our 6th and 7th rounds were frozen transfers and resulted in a positive pregnancy. My 6th round, I conceived Adalynn.
On September 25, 2015, Adalynn was stillborn just 3 days before my scheduled c-section. She was 7 lbs and 4 oz and it was determined she died from becoming entangled in her umbilical cord. Having an anterior placenta made monitoring her movements very challenging. We were devastated. Totally crippled emotionally.
I questioned God and how He could bless us after such a horrific journey to conceive and then bring us all the way to the finish line just to take her away from us. I struggled with “why us? Why my baby? Why take the baby of the two most infertile people in the world?” It was totally debilitating.
My rainbow baby is Hope, born September 30, 2016. She was conceived in our 7th round of IVF and was our last frozen embryo. Hope is aptly named because I so hopeful that I would get to bring her home and share a life with her. However, she was a high risk pregnancy as I had a complete placenta prévia and placenta accreta. I was hospitalized at 30 weeks and was told she would be delivered no later then 34 weeks. I was informed that her delivery would likely result in a complete hysterectomy and I was discouraged from trying to have anymore children due to the complications.
I learned that my husband and I both cope and grieve differently and accepting that is important. When Adalynn died, I lost myself. I kept thinking I would get back to “the old me.” But she didn’t exist anymore, the old me died with my daughter. There was the me before I lost Adalynn and the me I became as a 'loss' mom. I always want to honor Adalynn’s memory by speaking her name and sharing about her birth story.
My advice to someone walking through a loss, find your tribe or support system. Often times, it is someone you don’t even know right now.
Photographers note: When I first came across Andrea it was through her online baby and toddler boutique, Adalynn's Attic. I was deeply moved by her story and mission. Adalynn's Attic was born out of Andrea's desire to keep her daughter's memory alive while also making a difference in the lives of others. Named with the dream that Adalynn's clothes and nursery items wouldn’t just gather dust "in the attic", Andrea dedicated herself to raising awareness about stillbirth, emphasizing the importance of kick counts and supporting research and prevention efforts all the while honoring Adalynn's memory.
Andrea is soon transitioning to new endeavors, but I have no doubt her commitment to awareness and education around stillbirth remains steadfast. I am honored and grateful that Andrea stepped in last minute for my Stories of Hope project when another mother was unable to participate due to an injury.
Thank you, Andrea, for sharing your journey and for the lives you have touched through the precious life of Adalynn.